Dead or Alive Xtreme 3: Objectivity and shaming


May 26, 2016

StewThePoo

Dead or alive beach volleyball was the subject of much,much,much drama during the run up to its release.

dead or alive facebook

The poor guys just want some anime tiddy.

The decision to not release it West has irritated some (namely the voice actresses) and other publishers also scared of a similar attack from the progressive press. Not to mention, play asia are facing a infantile backlash for supporting the game.

But now that it’s finally available for purchase via import, the collective reaction from review outlets seems to be “It’s not great, the previous titles were better

But two particular reviews stood out to me, and they serve as a perfect example of the professionalism (or lack thereof) in review culture today.

Both reviews conclude on similar scores, but the approach taken in each is wildly different.

We’ll start off with the good. Ian Miles Cheong from gameranx.

gameranx

Link to the review itself can be found here.

The opening paragraph

“Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 isn’t very good. It’s simplistic, tedious, and more importantly, not very fun to play. “

A nice simple and concise rundown. The first words of the article set a very neutral tone for the rest of the piece, and the following paragraph goes into more appropriate detail regarding the drama surrounding the release and information on the publisher.

“the game was denied a Western release despite its English localization for reasons the publisher has refused to disclose. A community manager for the company suggested that the reason was to avoid potential criticism over its portrayal of female video game characters. Regardless of the real reason, gamers worldwide can import the title from overseas retailers, and so they have.”

He then goes into further detail regarding the modes featured and their lack of longevity

“DOAX3 gets long in the tooth by the time you reach the 14th and final day because the few activities it has are only tolerable for so long. Previous Dead or Alive Xtreme titles offered more things to do, including jetski races, water sliding, and some of these modes could even be played in multiplayer. Volleyball, butt battles (don’t ask why Team Ninja called it that), pool hopping, tug-of-war, and beach flags make a return. “

quick time butts

I spy quick time events. And butts.

Then he elaborates on the gameplay mechanics. Talking about the flawed changes to the camera system in the main volleyball component and the quick time events in other modes.

The penultimate except of his review reads

“Your reward for achieving a high rating with any of the girls is a sexy dance—not even a striptease. The routine wouldn’t be half bad if they were at least interactive in some form, but they aren’t. “

Even on subject matter as risque as digital stripteases he champions gameplay/interactivity as king. As a review should.

However, from the sounds of it, DOA:X3 seems to be lacking in that regard, earning it a paltry 2/10 from GameRanx.

It’s not all gloom and doom for Team Ninja however, they have a very enthusiastic fanbase and their sales have been positive so kudos to them. They’ve had a lot of adversity on the road to release.

The only aspect lacking in Ian’s piece is perhaps even more detail on the gameplay and unlockables. But to be fair, the game itself is very thin on content and depth so the review reflects that.

If there was a standard for how a review should be done, this is a good one. No muckraking, shaming language or personal politics.

And then we have the Destructoid review.

goony hack

Link to the review here.

Destructoid staffer Jed Whitaker opens his article with a non sequitur seemingly shaming admirers of the female form.

“Boobies. Tits. Knockers. Funbags. Dirty pillows. Cans. Jugs. Bewbz. Tatas. The Olsen Twins. Chi-chis. Chesticles. Jubblies. Honkers. Tittays. Puppies. Melons. Captain and Tennille. Twin Peaks. Mosquito bites. Shoulder boulders. I mean that is what you’re here for, right? “

Now to his one credit, he does bring up one issue that Ian didn’t in his review. He doesn’t do it in a very classy way however.

“Somehow Dead or Alive Xtreme 3: Fortune manages to have even less gameplay than previous titles, and even more focus on sexualization — one cast member that doesn’t look quite legal — but maybe you’re into that? Hope you’re also into grinding put in place to tempt you to buy microtransactions because that is a hot new feature you can only find in this Asia exclusive title. “

I hate microtransactions more then most people, but judging from his tone, you can tell that they aren’t his main beef with the game.

After disclosing the sites previous coverage of the title they move onto the gameplay content missing from the previous entry.

“Multiplayer? Gone. Jetskis? Missing. Slot machines? Nope. Licensed music? None here. CG cutscenes? As if. Multi-cultural characters? MIA.  “

Now that last one is a point of contention. Well, not really. he`s just flat out wrong.

zack

Ethnicity’s include 6 Japanese girls, French, German, Swedish. And of course the fan favourite Zack

As you can probably tell so far, this one reads a lot more like a sassy blog post then the previous example.

Speaking of being provably incorrect, we have this.

“The strip teases are awkward with stiff animations just like those found in volleyball. Don’t believe me? Then check out this not safe for work video that includes Marie, the 18-year-old-who-looks-14-at-most, performing a strip tease. “

swede lass

credit goes to @rugliabeoulve2 for doing the 10 seconds of research it took to find out the truth.

“A majority of your time in Xtreme 3 is spent split between three different activities: mini-games, gambling, and creeping on girls.”

`Creeping` thrown in for good measure. As if there wasn’t enough shaming language so far.

“Another new addition is the rock climbing mini-game, which boils down to a glorified quick time event where you quickly mash buttons to force your chosen object to scale an ugly brown texture. Once your object reaches the top, you’ll be treated to a clip of their unrealistically perfect tits clipping through the rocks as they struggle to pull themselves up. I don’t know about all of you, but I’m certainly not turned on by danger or clipping graphics. “

We almost had a valid criticism of the visuals without any of his bias thrown in for good measure. Lots of clipping visuals are indeed unappealing but your sarcastic quip is less than helpful.

“The reason most people buy this game, to creep on virtual girls, is called “Owner” mode. “

Now lets keep in mind, that if you want to play a volleyball title on current gen systems, you’ve got very little to choose from.

selection

Summer sports are something of an exotic rarity in the gloomy UK. Maybe American storefronts fare a little better.

Worse yet, the biggest profile example is only available imported from overseas thanks to aforementioned tireless onslaught from the progressive gaming media. Volleyball fans have been pretty shafted, and vitriolic reviews like this cant be making them feel much better.

“it is hard to recommend this to even the most titty-starved gamer. You’d be better served watching videos of the spicier scenes online or just going to any number of free porn sites, thus saving yourself the time, money, and brain cells that would otherwise be spent on this. “

And if he hadn’t made it glaringly obvious yet. In the final paragraph he reminds us all one last time. Your a mouthbreathing pervert if you like this game.

This has to be, by far one of the worst reviews to come out of destructoid, and that’s saying a lot. They have a habit of not completing the titles they review

Jed’s review will surely provide yet another go-to example of why people have stopped frequenting destructoid over the years.

It’s funny how his review score is so similar to Ian’s. He constantly lambasts the `unrealistic` body shapes and overly white cast whereas Ian sticks to valid mechanical reasons. Would Jed have given the game a better score if title featured rotund ethic characters? His approach is so scattershot and ideology driven it borders on nonsensical ramblings.

10 out of ten

Game of the year now Jed?

It is possible to objectively review a product without resorting to shaming its fans or implying they’re all obsessed perverts.

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