Emotes Trolling: Zelda Tri Force Heroes

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A guide to Emotes Trolling!

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Need an emotes guide to trolling? Well I’ve been playing a lot of Tri Force Heroes online, I’ve witnessed the attitude and culture surrounding usage of the touch screen emotes. What follows is not at all a satirical guide on the ideal usage of each one. But rather a fool-proof guide, that if followed to the letter, will have you reveling in the annoyance of other players. Because amicable cooperation is overrated! After all, I’m no stranger to the frustrations of multiplayer Zelda.

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“How dare you waste a fraction of my precious time.”

The second a player touches the exit platform, they should spam this as much as humanly possible. After all, the game isn’t called Tri and waste everyone’s time.

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“Quickly everyone! Hold your nondescript grey stick up in the air, for some reason!”

This emote is ideally used to call other players ‘Tools’. This emote in particular reminds me of the lower panel icons used in retro style point and click games.

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A combination of this and “Nooo!” is spammed when you pick people up without consent. Practice safe totems people!

This one is used for calling people ‘tossers’! Period! A better replacement would be as follows – “Don’t throw me toward that Pit/Water/Spike/Fire.”

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“Get on my level skrub!”

Epic Teabagging. Next! Or used to figuratively call someone an ass-hat.

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A perfect emote to spam whenever a player fucks up a puzzle or dies.

This is clearly for commentating on the absence of a Lollipop Chainsaw sequel. Even Nintendo pines in it’s absence.

What else could it possibly mean? There’s no way that players online would need an emotion for cheering each other on, right? Not when there’s Rupees and self-serving glory to be hogged.

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“I have no idea where purple Link could have gone. I can tell you he`s definitely not in that unmarked grave over there.”

No idea what this one means. I’ve never had a reason to use it. In all my hours of playing I have never yet been killed by an enemy…once! Or had to take longer than a second to figure a puzzle out, for that fact.

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The reaction of many people once they discovered purple Link didn’t make the cut.

If your internet connection is anything like mine, then you’ll become very familiar with this one!

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“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve  accidentally thrown the only key we had into the water. My cocky expression will surely alleviate your frustration.”

Look at this grinning chump. For best results, use when someone makes a colossal error of judgement. If it results in disconnections, don’t be surprised!

– Stewart Leadingham