This pain is very much real

September 8, 2015


Being an avid fan of the metal gear franchise I was pretty hyped for the release of the phantom pain. The PR nightmare surrounding Konami these past few months, and rumors that they are retreating into the gambling & pachinko business cemented the fact that this will be Kojima’s last metal gear project. Making it the swansong of a long revered, legacy series.

(Konami may continue the IP without Kojima, but it’s safe to assume nobody will accept it)

A lot of gamers have been frustrated at the elusiveness of the collector’s edition, but non more so then PC gamers, as they don’t even have the option.

I myself pre-ordered the boxed retail version a few weeks back. I planned on replacing the games boxart with one of the many “a Hideo Kojima” game fanmade covers floating around fan sites, as Konami’s mistreatment of Kojima’s involvement has been quite despicable. Scrubbing his name from the box just seems petty. And we can safely assume it wasn’t the boxart that Kojima and his team wanted, He surely would have opted for some Yoji Shinkawa flavored art, as would I.


The sumi-e style has aged very well.

My thought process was. “I want a boxed version, but I don’t own a console. I could buy it on steam and pre-load it, but my internet connection is terrible. Best to buy it boxed and save on download time. Plus there some GAME reward cards to be earned, and the games going to cost the same everywhere on launch day”.

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Could be slower. I hear Australians are still using dial-up.

The game gets shipped out to me on Friday, and many of my friends pick it up in person over the weekend.

Game doesn’t arrive until Tuesday. Oh well.

Getting home from work I immediately slam that fucker into the disc drive, only to have my enthusiasm crushed by the horrendous realization.

There was a subsequent 30GB download.

I was thinking “Goddamit! This will be that tacky looking multiplayer that nobody asked for” and I had to suffer the laborious download process to get up to 79% before I had to call it a night and go to bed.

I woke up in the morning to squeeze a few more percent in before I had to go to work. But the download progress had gone back down to zero!

I tried not to panic. I though “It will catch back up to 70% ish surely. I’ll do it again for longer tonight”

It didn’t.

BUT, I did stay up hella late and get it done. I `played` up to the title screen before declaring it a success and retiring for the evening.

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The joys of watching a progress bar slowly fill up. It’s like some masochistic text based rpg.

So day 3, I actually got to play the bloody thing. It’s fun as hell so far. But I’m still massively butthurt at Konami.

The disc itself contains a 8MB steam installer and nothing else. It’s clear to see why Konami did this. Another ill-conceived plot to subvert those pesky PC pirates. But as usual, every time someone tries something like this, it just ends up inconveniencing honest purchasers. (see anything Ubisoft have done on PC ever.)

It almost seems pointless to even have a fucking disc. It may as well have been a sheet of paper with a steam redemption code on it. Why even give me the option. Poking around inside the contents of the disc and looking at steamlauncher.exe may as well have read fuckyou.exe

Konami aren’t especially prolific with PC releases, so another reason could be that they simply suck at producing games for PC. The Dark Souls Japanese developers didn’t have much success doing it either. A lot of essential fixes came via the mod community.

Personal struggles aside. There’s information coming to light that the last arc of games plot and the ending have been removed. Rumored to be shown off at the upcoming Toyko game show.

Not to mention the multiplayer isn’t up and running yet, and even worse lots of game breaking bugs abound. For a game that has been in development for so long AND sold the opening act as its own full price game, this is borderline abuse.

Konami are already one foot in the grave, and if they have the audacity to remove the ending segment of the game, robbing of us vital closure and sell it back to us (would that make the phantom pain a trilogy?)

Then they can go suck a bag of solid snakes.


“side shot of bearded man looking angsty” it’s like a checklist for normies.


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